I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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