I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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