I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Randomize
