Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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