what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
