You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
