Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
