Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
