Define "chronic" masturbator.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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