New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I think weed is turning my hair brown
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