If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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