Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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