did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize