I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
