Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
