i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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