I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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