I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
