super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
