hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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