I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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