I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Terrible idea I love it
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
