All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
