so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
