this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
