omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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