Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
