it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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