But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
