i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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