Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
