i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
