I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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