Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize