Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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