so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
This is the high leading the old right now
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
