How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
