i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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