areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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