So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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