yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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