So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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