Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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