This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We're too hungover to prance.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize