I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
