Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
