Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
