please come you make the beer taste better
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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