No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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