and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
