Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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