Can Purell be used as lube?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
