so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
