um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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