Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you traded sex for a burrito?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
