It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
