so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
