The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
