We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
