I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
